Thursday, September 10, 2015

The One Life Requirement

So maybe I'm a little late to the game and this is a topic that's been overly talked about but I felt I needed to chime in with "Deep Thoughts by DubyaWife" on this one.

Nicole Arbour

If you haven't heard (which is odd cause the internet is literally exploding right now) this YouTuber released a video called "Dear Fat People" that was comedic and satirical and also a big pile of poo. She attempts to be funny and make jokes about fat people but it comes out very "i'm skinny and hate you" and so the internet is all like BURN HER and she's all like "I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch." (That was a Monty Python reference for those of you who didn't get it, omg what are you doing with your life.) 

There's been plenty of responses, lots of you tubers calling her out. Articles stating facts on why "fat shaming" is a thing and it isn't helpful to fat shame... buncha opinions being thrown around and of course, society picking sides.

Here's the deal. Arbour is making a statement, albeit, one that's crude, insensitive, and probably just to gain followers and attention. What's funny is I actually usually like her videos cause her comedic timing is awesome, but this one... well it wasn't funny, it was just... petty. Opinions have been weighed (pun intended) on her twitter, Instagram, You Tube. She's getting "WTG, girl, I agree!" and "You bitch, kill yourself." comments... I'm really not that concerned about what she did, or how she's reacting... what I wanna know is... what is she thinking?

As a human on this fast spinning planet, I've made my fair share of missteps and done some things that I regret. Some of them I've publically apologized for, some of them I live with. Even right now there's some decisions, opinions, actions, that I've done (or failed to do) that I defend. But when someone comes along and calls me out on it "Hey, this kinda hurt my feelings..." Regardless of whether I feel that I'm right or wrong, there's always that self doubt. There's always a learning lesson.

Cause that's the true test of one's character. There's really only one requirement for each human and that's introspection. Not the ability to be immovably defiant, but the ability to self-check.

I really hope that's where Arbour is. Right now, I hope as she's gaining followers, watching her "internet" stardom advance as her name gets blasted through the social media waves... is there a moment of reflection... even in the slightest? Is she thinking "Maybe I was wrong"? She doesn't have to admit it. She doesn't even have to apologize. But she does have to think about it.

"Could I have been wrong?"

Monday, August 3, 2015

To Weigh or Not to Weigh

It's been 30 days since I've made some slight but radical changes in my health lifestyle. 

I stopped weighing myself. 
I stopped taking measurements. 
I stopped tracking calories. (Both during exercise and for nutrition)
I stopped attempting a ketogenic (low carb, high fat) diet. 

I started working out (or stretching) everyday. 
I started doing strength training 2/3 a week. 
I started a daily food/activity journal. 
I started drinking 2L of water everyday. 
I started sleeping 7 hours or more per day. 

It's so counter intuitive compared to the first 80 lbs that I lost. 
I meticulously tracked everything. I estimated weight loss goals. I planned. I weighed in daily. 
I obsessed. 

Now here's the deal.
I'd be lying that all of the changes I've made aren't in an effort to lose weight. 
Brutal reality is that I'm an overweight female in her mid-30s. Unless some miracle happens I'm pretty much always going to be trying to lose weight or maintain it. However, I give some credence to the Healthy At Every Size preachers. I do firmly believe that one has to be comfortable in their own skin before they can truly make changes for the right reasons. 

Today marks 30 days that I've stuck to my plan. 
I can already tell I have more muscle. That my clothes fit looser better. And I feel like a million bucks. Dubya has commented that he sees some progress. 

So... Do I weigh myself? 
Do I need to know that number? 
What if I increased in weight? 

I'm really 50/50 on the whole idea.
I love the idea of just continuing down this road of wellness with no expectations but hoping for the best. Which is very unlike DubyaWife. I'm goal driven. I'm ambitious. And yet - I feel like I'm still being those things, but without the scale. Now I'm focusing on motivation. On being consistent. On maintaining this great "life high" and sticking with it as long as I can. 

When I first started my journey, I took it day by day. And I just worried about doing awesome things today and trying my best to do them again tomorrow. I like this idea. I like this momentum I have going. 

Maybe I didn't lose anything. Maybe I did. But right now, after 30 days, I really don't care what the scale says. I feel amazing. And I want to keep feeling amazing. If a "weigh-in" risks my mental wellness and emotional stability, then it's not worth it. 

Monday, July 27, 2015

Office people that need to go away.

Disclaimer: The below list is a lame attempt to be sardonic and funny. It is not directed towards any particular workplace or colleagues, but if you feel like *maybe* you relate to any of these...
then my work here is done.

"Did you get my email?"
Yes, I got your email, this is 2015, not 1996. Keywords aren't a thing and "floppy drives" is a sexual euphemism. What you're really asking is why haven't I done that thing you want me to do yet, but you're trying to be clever about it. Tell you what, I prefer straightforward to implying that your email was actually a priority for me. Well let's see, 1) if i haven't responded it's cause i haven't read it 2) or i am waiting to respond for a pretty damn good reason or 3) I don't like you.

I'll just wait at your door.
Oh would you please? Cause I'm on this phone call and ha! in addition, as you can see it's even wedged between my ear and shoulder while I type furiously trying to take care of this person on the other line, but I need you to wait at the door so I can have an even further sense of urgency... Because how else would I know that you really want to be my next priority? also, can you mouth the words of what you need as well? That'd be great. My attention clearly isn't divided enough.

I own this office.
I see that the chair I've placed in front of my desk doesn't suit you. Apologies, I neglected to understand that you really wanted to parade through my office like a peacock in full ass-feathered mode, surveying my stacks of paperwork and sitting on the side of my desk like a fucking Roman Emperor. Apologies, Caesar. Can I get you some coffee while you wait? Find some gladiators and set up a battle for your entertainment? Hand-feed you grapes? And while I'm at it, thank you for gracing me with your presence for several minutes while you repeat and reiterate a lengthy request/demand that could've been delivered in a one-sentence email.

Let me show you pictures of my kids.
No, no, I'm not busy. I'd love to see the pictures of your child being held by people I don't know. Also, while you're at it scroll through the pictures of your trip last weekend to your uncle's farm and tell me all about how you picked some fruit that I don't remember. Work can wait. While we're covering such essential topics, what did you have for lunch today? How many miles are on your car? Do you have any eight-minute videos that contain 10 seconds of something funny your child did? Nothing fascinates me more than the nuances of your personal life.

Life is awful. Everyone is an idiot.
You know, it's amazing how I can avoid actually saying the phrase "How are you?" but still have someone actually tell you without asking. And trust me if I do ask, I don't want the short quick "Good" response. No, that won't do! Please go into a long diatribe leaving no detail or person unhurt by your proverbial bus. It's great to get a constant reminder that you despise this place, cause obviously, everyone who works here is an idiot. I know that voicing your disdain is difficult so we all appreciate you sharing it with others. I know it's sweet that pooh and all his friends were so inclusive of Eeyore, but this isn't the Hundred Acre Wood. Are you trying to bring me down, or do you actually think your incessant negativity is somehow constructive?

I'm never wrong.
Look, I'm sorry you're self-conscious. I'm sorry your mother raised you to be such a self-righteous tool. I'm sorry that you associate incidental mistakes with deep personality flaws. But For chrissake, yes you are. And even if it's not 100% your fault, be a fucking adult with some goddamn manners and say "Oh, I'm sorry, I could have checked on that too." or "Looks like we both missed this." No one cares or is counting the number of errors you make. But every time you passively aggressively try to make it sounds like you didn't screw up, I hate you more. A small apology goes a long way with decent people. And refusing to admit error just prevents you from growing.

And my favorite...

Cell phone in the bathroom? IDGAF.
Your phone call is too important to not give a crap. Literally. Who cares about hygiene or good manners? Shit's gotta get done, amirite? I love your complete dismissal of the mute button too, because while we're discussing requisitions I thought to myself "You know what's missing in this conversation right now? A toilet flushing in the background." Ah, never mind, there it is. I wish I could pass gas on demand. And I hope you know how loud I'm going to laugh the day you finally drop it in the can. But don't worry, the person on the other end is surely delighted by these sounds and understanding of your unparalleled work ethic.