Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

How to Argue With Someone On the Internet

 1. First, use these following steps:
a. Point out all the logical fallacies. Also, make sure you are not using them as well."Nice straw-man you built there; does it come with a brain?"
 b. Respond to each point with a question. The question should repeat back the statement they made but add on further clarification. "You said that all Muslims should be deported, does that include American citizens?"
c. Responses should be 2-3 sentences max. Long diatribes don't help your argument, they just make the other person annoyed they have to read your wall of text. "Tl;dr you're wrong."
d. Avoid searching for and posting websites that justify your claim. "Well, did you know the Number people who drowned by falling into a swimming-pool correlates with Number of films Nicolas Cage appeared in?!"
e. However, if you need to post proof that your information is valid avoid: wiki, Fox News, NY Post, Buzzfeed, or any alternative medicine websites. "Why You Should Start Drinking Your Own Pee – The Many Benefits Of Urine Therapy"
f. Avoid racial slurs, derogatory nicknames, or any personal attacks. If done to you, ignore them and keep focusing on counter arguments. "It's perfectly possible for the workers to seize the means of production and then sell their company's output on an open market, you dick chandelier."
e. Stay on topic and when necessary, get your opponent back on topic. "That's interesting, I didn't know that Obama is really a nazi, but can we get back to your discussion about gun control?"  
f.  Admit when you agree or you've changed your opinion. This is one of the strongest tools in your arsenal. "You're right, guns don't kills people, it's usually the bullets."
g. He who posts last wins. This is just an unwritten rule of arguing. If you're the last to post, then you're right. Even if you post "I agree to disagree." 

and if that all fails well then...
2. Don't. 

Monday, June 20, 2016

How to Run For President (By Donald Trump)

1. Boast about yourself over and over again, cause people take you more seriously if you convince them that you're the best.

2. Don't bother using filters or politically correct language. It's time wasted on the losers of the world. Instead say whatever you want even if it's inflammatory, racist, or hateful.

3. Have a hot wife. If she's not hot anymore, divorce her, and get a newer hotter wife.

4. Tell everyone you have a great plan. Never talk in detail about that plan, but ensure everyone that the plan is the best.

5. Give all your enemies demeaning nicknames. Use them often. If they call you a nickname, threaten to sue.

6. Make strange, creepy sexual references to your hot daughter, and degrade overweight women. Actually, degrade all women.

7. Encourage throngs of people to punch anyone who criticizes or disagrees with you, including members of the press. Announce that you'll punch people in the face but never actually do it. 

8. Start a business venture. Advertise the shit out of it, then watch the company slowly fail, declare bankruptcy, and tell everyone how successful it was

9. Use your family wealth and power to avoid the military draft in the 1970s, then claim that your sexual exploits in the 1980s were your own personal Vietnam.

10. When you run for President, while everyone is convinced that you won't last, run away with the nomination. Then rely on good people to make stupid voting decisions, so you can hold a position of great power just to say you did