Monday, April 12, 2010

6 Months!

26 weeks... Day 182:


Stats:
35.8 lbs lost
Waist: 7.25" lost
Hips: 4.75" lost
Arm: 2.25" lost
Dress Size: 4 sizes down
Current Elliptical Mileage: 3.1 miles in 30 minutes

Its difficult to write this blog post and I've been struggling with it all morning. Revising and rewriting... trying to decide what words of motivation, appreciation, humor etc. that I can put together to truly express my pride and gratitude for where I am today. To say that 6 months of this journey is a big deal for me is an understatement. No one will truly understand the joy I feel in myself... the confidence I have in my past actions... the awe that it brings me. As I've said before it takes a lot of help and encouragement from others and I'm grateful that I've had so much from family and friends. But the true change comes from within and in reflection of what I've done, I'm proud. I feel as though I've crossed a river no one said could be crossed. Climbed a mountain no one said could be climbed.

To put simply: I've undergone something I told myself I could never do.

An internal emotional struggle, that will continue (no doubt) for the rest of my life. A battle between the part of me that said I could do it and the part that wanted to quit.

But the difference now? I've done it for 6 months... I've been this far. There's no turning back.

I'll end with this story:
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She walked in the store with hesitancy. As she glanced around at the people shopping she sized them up and down... "size 12 there... size 8 there..." She convinced herself that she was just going to shop around and more than likely not find anything that fit right, but something inside her said to keep going.

She went to the "jean wall." It towered high with all different blues. The numbers screaming out at her almost laughing. Different styles. Different cuts. "The largest might fit" she thought to herself as she grabbed random styles.

In the dressing room she put on one after another. Shocked that they were loose up top, but tight on the thigh she figured it was a case of "I don't fit in regular clothes." On her way back to the jean wall she seemed defeated. Yes, they didn't fit, but would they ever?

She gathered some courage. Grabbed a size down from the previous, all different styles and made her way back to the dressing room. Her mind raced. "What am I doing?" "I won't fit into these." "I'm a big girl!"

She put them down and started with the first on top. She slid her leg into one pant and it was tight. She could feel her heart sink. "Why'd I do this... this is torture." She tried to scoot them up her hips, but to no avail. They wouldn't fit. She was defeated.

She took them off... looked at the next pair. She sighed. "Try again" something said to her.

She put one leg through... then the next... up her to her hips... buttoned it up... zip.

They fit?
They fit.
They fit!

Tears filled up her eyes. She jumped up and down for joy. She looked in the mirror. She wasn't a "big girl." She wasn't "different." She fit.
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Cuffs were a little too long, cause they don't come in petite, only regular. But... best money I ever spent. :o)

2 comments:

  1. So proud of you, my sister. The change in you both physically and emotionally is awe inspiring. I'm glad I got to treasure that moment with you :)

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  2. happy for you! love your writing style to it is inspirational

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