As I was running this morning, one of my favorite songs came on at the very end of my run. Pardon Me - Incubus. It might seems like an odd song to run to, but the message is clear to me:
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games.
So pardon my while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me... I'll never be the same!
This past year has been a transformation for me. The song, the tattoo, the entirety of it all... it really reveals how much I've "been reborn in flames." I'll never be the same and yet, I haven't changed. In honor of such an event, here are some of the promises that came into my brain during my run (or those that I could remember).
I will commit myself to a healthy life. "Healthy life" comes in many aspects: Emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I believe I've found a balance. And now that I know how wonderful that feels, I will make a commitment to maintain that balance.
I will not allow food to be a burden. Nor will I allow it to control my life. Society (and Louisiana) has made food such an "event." I won't let "bad foods" become some type of poison nor will I let those foods become some type of treat. Food is for fueling the body and allowing my organs and systems to run properly.
I will cherish my meals, enjoy the small treats, and not guilt myself over every calories ingested. Sometimes we have to give in to the Godiva chocolate, or Mom's homemade BBQ shrimp. And its OK sometimes. To eny myself these things will only make them more enticing.
I will give myself healthy nutritious food. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, healthy fats help to keep my heart, brain, lungs, etc. running efficiently and effectively.
I will avoid "fad diets" and "diet foods" that promise quick fixes, but end up falling short. Its easy to give into "quick fixes" but they end up delivering false promises. The only effective method of healthy living (and ultimately weight loss) is through exercise and eating right. Small changes in your lifestyle result in new healthy habits.
I will exercise everyday in any way possible. It's great to go for a 5K run, or swim a hour of laps, but sometimes just a walk around the block or relaxed yoga is better than nothing at all.
I will not beat myself up if I can't or don't exercise for one day. Injuries happen, illness happens, life happens. When my body says "stop," I'll stop.
I will try new exercises. Variety is the spice of life. Routine is great and so is adding a lil bit o chaos. Alternative exercise helps to jump start motivation. Plus, sometimes you can find a new exercise that you love.
I will not hide behind that "but I'm a fat girl" persona. Just because I'm overweight does not mean I can't do certain things. I can do anything with a little time and patience.
I will not make excuses for my weight. It's not a "thyroid issue", or a "baby fat" issue, or a result of society... it's my fault.
I will not let my weight control my life. The number on the scale does not define me. I choose who I am. My actions are my own.
I will take responsibility for the weight I am and the weight I will be. In taking ownership I admit there's a problem and there's a solution.
I will allow myself to fail. I will try again when I fail. Success isn't always going to happen. This isn't story books or Hollywood movies. This is real life. Try as I might sometimes I will falter, and when I do I will get back up, dust myself off and try again.
I will allow others to help me. We don't live life in a vacuum. Even though ultimately this is my road to travel, I will let spectators, coaches, and others help me and travel with me.
I will not mourn the past. Each and everyday I will try to remember the past, and not mourn it, but view it as a necessary learning in my life. I was not a "bad person." I just made "bad choices."
I will set goals. I will set goals for the future and continually change and revamp them as life changes.
I will live in the present. Above all else, I will live in the present. Enjoy my life and the successful changes I've made. I will celebrate that I'm a new, different person and yet still the same. I will smile more, love more, and learn more. I will take this new lust for life and capture it for each and everyday.