I have to get this out. I have to just yell and fuss and have a pity party all about it so that I can feel better. Fuck this shit... I feel like I'm running in an endless maze.
I have been in the 180s since February. February!?!
w. t. f.
That's 5 months of being up and down between 178 and 182... up and down, up and down. My head is spinning with the lack of logic behind that. Less Calories in, more calories burned, should equal weight loss. Well it fucking doesn't.
All this work, running, training, making the time. Watching what I eat and preparing ahead of time. And for what? For nothing, for no real numbers to show for it.
Now I know what you're thinking...
"but you've lost inches"
"but you're being healthy"
"but it's just a plateau"
I hear ya, I really do, but right now. I don't give a fuck. Yes, health is important. Yes, nutrition is important. But being overweight isn't healthy. I need to lose, and how can I be a more healthy weight when what I do DOESN'T WORK!
Today... at this moment. I'm tired, worn out, and pissed off at myself and just the outside world for the lack of progress. I'm angry, I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I feel worn down from the lack of progress and agitated in the way it makes me feel.
I want to blame everyone else for it. I want to blame myself for it. I want to burn the magazines with skinny models and cuss out out the fitness gurus.
I want to punch someone to feel better.
And that someone is me.
On a side note.... packed my workout bag this morning despite being in a rotten mood, brought it with me to workout this afternoon.