Monday, June 20, 2011

rant

I have to get this out. I have to just yell and fuss and have a pity party all about it so that I can feel better. Fuck this shit... I feel like I'm running in an endless maze.

I have been in the 180s since February. February!?!

w. t. f.

That's 5 months of being up and down between 178 and 182... up and down, up and down. My head is spinning with the lack of logic behind that. Less Calories in, more calories burned, should equal weight loss. Well it fucking doesn't.

All this work, running, training, making the time. Watching what I eat and preparing ahead of time. And for what? For nothing, for no real numbers to show for it.

Now I know what you're thinking...
"but you've lost inches"
"but you're being healthy"
"but it's just a plateau"

I hear ya, I really do, but right now. I don't give a fuck. Yes, health is important. Yes, nutrition is important. But being overweight isn't healthy. I need to lose, and how can I be a more healthy weight when what I do DOESN'T WORK!

Today... at this moment. I'm tired, worn out, and pissed off at myself and just the outside world for the lack of progress. I'm angry, I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I feel worn down from the lack of progress and agitated in the way it makes me feel.

I want to blame everyone else for it. I want to blame myself for it. I want to burn the magazines with skinny models and cuss out out the fitness gurus.

I want to punch someone to feel better.
And that someone is me.

/rant

On a side note.... packed my workout bag this morning despite being in a rotten mood, brought it with me to workout this afternoon.

10 comments:

  1. All I can say is..

    LET IT OUT!!

    Now... get down to business.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are you eating enough? ...some folks don't eat enough and plateau, supposedly.

    Are you eating your exercised/burned calories? ...this doesn't work for me. If I eat more because I exercise more, I stay even.

    Anyway, check out the Mayo Clinic Calorie Calculator, eating just under the limit it tells me has been very successful for me.

    *shrug*

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/calorie-calculator/NU00598

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah!!! There's NOTHING like a good rant...let it GO girlfriend!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was stuck at 240 for over a month. I lost 4 pant sizes in that time, and 2 shirt sizes. If you're working out, you're not only increasing muscle mass (to a small degree) but also bone density (to a slightly larger degree).

    As your muscles get more efficient at doing what they are doing, they decide to hold more glycogen, because they need it for the extra work they are doing. Glycogen is hydrophilic, and brings along with it 3x it's mass in water. That water stresses your muscles more, causing them to grow to a degree, and the cycle repeats.

    Start measuring other things besides your standard non scale victories. Resting heart rate is a good gauge of fitness as well.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, and also...my plateau of 240lbs ended after a week of just not giving a damn on vacation. I ate like I didn't care, but stayed active. I came back from vacation and had lost 2 lbs, and the weight kept coming off from there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When's the last time your body had a break? A real break, I mean. A lot of fitness folks say that you need a good week off every 12-15 weeks or so. Yep, laying around like a beached whale while consuming a normal daily amount like, say, 2400 calories per day appears to be good for the soul.

    Another thought: have you tried changing up your routine? Maybe try a three-day juice fast (easy on the exercise if you do that, though). Or change up what you're eating, or when you're eating it.

    Or change up your exercise. Switch to yoga and weights for a week. Maybe walk versus run. Or, if you're feeling really righteous, get onto a P90 schedule, or try the Body-for-LIFE intervals routine, which I used to call my Jesus Run (because it always made me see God).

    Shaking it up has done it for me in the past. It's like the body says, "Holy Shit, maybe she's serious. I better do what she says or she might keep this shit up."

    Sometimes we just get sick and tired of the whole thing. Go easy on yourself, kiddo. There's no time limit on this stuff. Might be time for a vacation.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for all the great comments everyone. I'm feeling much better now. My gym has this serious group exercise program that I'm hoping will be the next big thing to push me over that edge.

    If that doesn't work i may just take a week off from diet and exercise. Then go from there.

    Thanks again. Love u guys.

    ReplyDelete
  8. oh,my.

    were we separated at birth? I'm there with ya, and I'm just a super pissy mess right now. If I knew where you lived. I'd invite you to meet up for a drink. A frothy- full of crap bad for you drink.

    But instead I'll get a glass of water, and plan out what I'm going to do tomorrow. And you'll do the kick ass exercise program and hopefully feel better. ;0

    ReplyDelete
  9. I wrote you a note. Enjoy!

    http://thedepartmentofweightsandmeasures.blogspot.com/2011/06/in-pursuit-of-surrender-open-letter-to.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow, I go back and read this post and this doesn't sounds like me AT ALL. This anger and the frustration... perhaps lack of sleep and poor eating the weekend before affected my mood so badly. But the above is not a reflection of who I am, or what I stand for. Wow.

    ReplyDelete