Friday, July 1, 2011

I am an unfinished masterpiece: June #GoTheDist Recap

If your a regular reader and follow my twitter you know I follow FatGirlvsWorld's Go The Dist Challenge (#GoTheDist) every month. This month's theme was "Make Love of Yourself Perfect." In addition to pledging some mileage, water intake, strength training, etc. we had to have some "naked time" in front of the mirror. Before I get into that, let's review numbers:

Name Christine
Twitter Name DubyaWife
Blog Location
Modality 1 Running
Modality 1 Goal 30 miles
Modality 2 Elliptical
Modality 2 Goal 30 miles
Non-Food Reward race registration

Total Miles Modality 1 % of Modality 1 Goal
23.28 77.60%
Total Miles Modality 2 % of Modality 2 Goal
22.5 75.00%

So I did pretty good here and I'm proud of my accomplishments. I also had 9 strength training sessions and 6 stretching sessions. So overall I feel like I made the effort to really meet this mileage. Who says you have to meet your goal! I think my effort is worth the reward. As my reward, I registered not only for one race but have pledged to run one 5K a month. July will be Light Up the Night 5K and for a list of my future races check out My Races page (all new!)

So now let's get back to the theme for this month: naked time. I must admit I had negativity all month about this. It was something I didn't want to do, something I wasn't happy to do, and something that I knew I wouldn't do.

So I didn't do it.

Here are some of my comments:

NAKED TIME! Were you able to look at yourself with the eyes of compassion and love?
06/01/11 Yes and no, didn't focus on it too well today, will try again tomorrow.
06/02/11 Not at all, I saw my knees today and grimaced... will try again tomorrow
06/05/11 Gonna go do it right now!
06/06/11 I'm failing at this mirror thing.
06/07/11 ...
06/08/11 Had a smile on my face while looking in the mirror, I'm a terribly good actress at being able to show something on my face, but feel completely different in my heart.
06/09/11 The visual response of me being naked is not good... the physical touch though is good. hmmm... I like the way my new body feels, but not looking at it
06/12/11 Yoga today.
06/13/11 Ate some nachos and Pretzel's M&Ms
06/15/11 Looked ate my inner thighs for a while and really loved seeing that "gap" that's formed.
06/16/11 no
06/17/11 no
06/18/11 no
06/19/11 no
06/23/11 really not feeling the theme this month, but committed to hitting my running goal
06/29/11 well, didn't finish my mileage but i worked hard.
06/30/11 good finish.

As I reflect on that, I really start to wonder where my priorities are with my health, specifically my emotional health. Lately I've been reflecting on my plateau in my weight loss and wondering if I'm either pushing too hard or not enough.

Is it time to perhaps switch focus? Should I practice some intuitive eating and self-love? Can I take a break from calorie counting and regular exercise? Should I focus on be "okay" with where I am? And if I do that, am I giving up or giving in? What about my weight loss goals? How will switching focus to self-love affect my weight loss?

How does weight loss fit in with self-love?

I struggle with this question I really do. Because I look in the mirror and I see an "unfinished masterpiece"... A Mona Lisa that isn't quite done yet.

She's beautiful.
But she's not quite there yet.

There's parts of me that I love, my face, my clavicles, my neck and back, and parts that still need touch-ups. Is it okay for me to look at myself and want more, want better.... or should I be accepting and allow myself to just "be"? Where is the line of self-acceptance and growth? Is it all of one or the other, or something of a ying-yang?

July #GoTheDist is starting up and this month's theme is similar but adds: "How did you stand up for yourself today?" This month I'm pledging 50 miles combined running & elliptical and 12 sessions of strength training.

Have you signed up yet! Go here now and do it!

Get Mean. Twisted Evil Make a Decision. Exclamation Choose Health! Cool

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