Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A Call For Help: ReCap

So after my controversial, brain dumping, heart-felt post on Friday, I took the comments made from over the weekend and week and tried to piece them together into a cohesive message. This is how my brain works, when I get a multitude of information I try to find correlations between them and see what statistically the entirety of the message is.

Here's some of the similarities I've found:
  • Most of everyone feels calorie counting and recommitting to it is a key part of success.
  • Most everyone feels I'm being WAY to hard on myself and I need to practice a little bit of "kindness"
  • The parity of the two options (a break or full force) I gave was not received well and everyone felt that there's a balance somewhere in between.
  • Plenty of recommendations on trying new and different exercises or new dietary methods (ie: fluids only).
  • Some recommend throwing away the scale for a while.
After some reflection and some discussion with those closest to me, I picked up my two scales (yes, I have two) and gave them to Dubya to hide them for safe-keeping. I'm going to commit in August to not worry focus on the number. Cause the number isn't my goal anymore.

Let me explain...

When I started this journey almost two years ago, the number was my goal. It was my only goal. And I think at that time. It worked for me. It was a good goal to have. And it worked. I saw the pounds each week, I saw the number decreasing. And that felt good, it worked.

Now I'm not so sure that the number is really what I want. Please don't misunderstand, I want to be a healthy weight. But I also want to run a 10K,a half-marathon,and yes, eventually a marathon (that's the first time I've posted that statement publicly, so.... yeah, it's a big deal that I'm seriously considering it).

I don't know if I will do those things,but I know I want to. And in my head, with the way my brain works, I just don't see weight loss and (eventual) marathon training coinciding. Running takes energy (food energy), running takes time, distance running takes focus. I can't focus on the number and focus on my running. I don't know - the two don't correlate for me.

When I hit 199lbs - I was proud of myself. And I'll be just as proud when I hit 155. But let me tell you something. Whether I'm 180 lbs when I cross that marathon finish line, or 155 lbs when I cross that finish line - either way, I'll be proud. And that's why I'm making this choice.

So here's my new focus, my new goals:
  • For August: no weigh ins (to help me rid myself of the weigh-in addiction)
  • Meticulous detail of calorie counting for August (gotta do this to make sure I'm not sabotaging myself - running makes me hungry!)
  • 10-15 miles per week. I've started up the B210K (bridge to 10K program) and am shooting for 1-2 long runs per week and some speed work in between.
  • 2-3 strength training classes (HIIT or what's called my Art of Strength AoS class... post to come soon about that)

This is my August challenge for myself. I have 50 miles for FatGirlVsWorld #GoTheDist (Go The Distance) challenge. And I have to 5Ks (Red Carpet Race & Zoo Zoom - See My Races page) this month. With all these running events and mileage to reach, I have plenty of goals to keep me focused. So who cares about the number? ;)

Get Mean. Twisted Evil Make a Decision. Exclamation Choose Health! Cool

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