Friday, November 4, 2011

Dear Readers,

Dear Readers,

I apologize for my absence. I apologize for not tweeting as often. I apologize for not posting and keeping you up to date.

As I'm sure many of you have experienced. Life tends to get busy. Focus changes... and then you find yourself in a situation (as I have) where you haven't worked out in over two weeks and you're frustrated cause you feel like you haven't made health & fitness a priority. Work and life just get in front of everything else.

So starts the downward spiral, right?

It's easy to see, and even easier to give in to it.

I have a half-marathon facing me in about two months... and yet I haven't run in over two weeks. My inclination is to cancel... I'm sure my running friends gasp at the previous sentence.

But if I cancel? What's next?

On another note, I'm still in the 180s, in fact, I'm 185 lbs as of yesterday which means I've gained. I've been in the 180s since Spring of this year. Do I give up my hopes of losing more?

Can I train for a half-marathon and continue to lose? Or is my focus best used on having one goal? Or... am I losing focus of the ultimate goal... which is to be a better and healthier me.

Oh, readers, I'm at a loss.

Part of me says that I've worked so hard thus far, should I be able to allow myself the flexibility to have stress and priority changes with out worry... and the other part of me screams that I'm going down a road of losing focus and that I need to MAKE the time and effort.

Regardless, I DO have a half-marathon in about two months. And I have 13.1 miles that I need to get myself trained for. It's possible, it's doable, and this opportunity is too important to me emotionally and physically to give up.

I don't write this letter to you to give you the answers...
or to tell you that i have it figured out....
cause I don't.
I don't even write it to tell you that "I'm back" and promise you more content.
I don't write to give you motivation.

I write this cause it's how I feel right now. At this very moment.
Frustrated, yet hopeful. Wishing for it to be simpler, for there to be more time. For stress and obligations to just melt away. But knowing that's not possible.

It's a conundrum. A unsolvable situation. A challenge.

So I'll sign off this letter saying some truths.

I miss my readers.
I miss my tweeters.
I truly feel bad for not being able to motivate you each day to be the best you.
I miss running.
I miss how LIVING health & fitness everyday makes me feel.
I miss being focused.

And since I know these things are true. I'm going to work on them.

Because we're all works in progress... Keep moving forward, friends. :)

Love, DubyaWife

Get Mean. Twisted Evil Make a Decision. Exclamation Choose Health! Cool

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