Friday, December 16, 2011

What's Up, DubyaWife?

You may be asking yourself.... "What's up, DubyaWife?"

You aren't posting on your blog that much...
You aren't tweeting anymore...
You aren't logging mileage or calories....

What's up?

I'll break it down into a couple of parts.

I love this season, I really do. But I bit off more than I could chew by deciding to hand-make presents for everyone this year. And if you know anything about me from my blog, of course when I set my mind to do something I'm head strong and work myself to death to get it done. I always go over the top. So needless to say my free time has been making gifts for my loved ones.

While my employer doesn't ask me to work extra hours or to skip lunches, I've found myself doing this a lot recently. When someone asks me to "get something done" I feel the necessity to complete it or devote time to it over my needs. So on multiple occasions I've missed my lunch time class or stayed late to work on something. Not to mention, Christmas parties!

The above mentioned projects have been keeping me up until about midnight every night for the past few weeks. Which means waking up at 5am to go for a run has been pretty much an impossibility. I'm just too tired.

I haven't been. I haven't run any mileage at all in over a week. It's a combo of things. Sub 40s weather, night time coming around 5pm, lack of sleep (see above), DubyaKid pick up and drop off, and lack of time (see work and Christmas). I do miss it. I wish I would go to sleep earlier to wake up. I wish I would run in the colder temps. I wish I had more time to do it.

This comes down to preparation and stress level. When I don't prepare ahead of time and my stress level is high, I tend to give in to easy meals - like pizza. Also, the evening's are tough for me at the house. I tend to get snacky and search the house for some sort of snack food to munch on while watching a tv show. Luckily my projects have been keeping me busy that I haven't been snacky at night too much recently. I haven't been consistent with my calorie counting, but in my defense I've been eating reasonably well for just kind of "winging it."

From my DubyaBFF having a brand new baby, to DubyaKid band concerts, to random "get the car fixed" and so on. Things and people who need attention have been and are priority over my me-time. There's a dichotomy about this, part of me feels guilty for wanting my selfish time and another part of me doesn't feel guilty at all and realizes that it's temporary.

So those are about the jist of things, those are the excuses and each one of them on it's own are small and fixable. Combined they really have become somewhat of a road block...

My biggest worries right now are:
1. My half-marathon is in 4 weeks
2. I've gained 7 lbs in 3 months (however still fitting in my clothes).
*Note: I have been going to my circuit training on average of two times a week at least.

I wish I could have a great solution or answer to solve everything... I even wish I could have some goals for the next few weeks to say "here's how I'm going to solve things..." But with the upcoming holidays and weird schedules I can't guarantee that, and by trying to set those goals I'll end up making myself feel guilty for having not done them. I think over the spring and summer I started ramping things up and really training hard... and since now things are more laid back, I'm feeling like I'm dropping the ball.

I'll try. I'll try every day.

I'll try to eat the best I can.
I'll try to exercise when I can.
I'll try to make these things priority.

And right now, with the stress of the holidays, with the guilt of weight gain, that is all I can do.

I won't give in to depression, sadness, or guilt, cause those only result in over-training, anger, and ultimately apathy. Instead, I'll love myself for maintaining a cool attitude through this time. For trying my best when and where I can, for making the effort.

I must remember that I am not a failure for missing a workout.
I must remember that I am not a failure for going over calories.
I must remember that I am not a failure.

So... What's up, DubyaWife?

Not much. What's up with you? ;-)

Get Mean. Twisted Evil Make a Decision. Exclamation Choose Health! Cool

No comments:

Post a Comment