Saturday, February 11, 2012

Old Habits

A post from the table during morning breakfast... On my smart phone...

I feel old habits creeping up again. And I fear the scale once more. For a weeks I've seen steadily increasing...
Clothes are a bit tighter...
I'm having touble saying no to food...

No bueno.

It's tough to try to lose weight and not beat yourself up. I want to blame myself for being a pig. I want to be my own drill sergeant.

Why can't you say no!
Stop doing that!
You know better!

And yet the rebellious voice in me makes wants to scream out.

I've tried to maintain a low calorie level. But the slip ups have become everyday, not once a week like they used to.

I'm exercising on average 3-4 times a week and yet I feel like I can do more.
And pile the frustration, guilt, and worry on top of some stressful chnage of a new job, some social engagements, and just general life... I'm a whirlwind of emotion right now. Sigh.

Weight loss would be easier if I had no job, had no social life, and a strict routine. LOL But what is more important, being skinny? Or living? And I mean, really living.

So, no moral. No lesson here. No goals. Just emotion translated into words.

Everyday is a new opportunity.
I remember the past.
Plan for the future.
But live for today.

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