This week I gave in to the Sonic M&M Blast and it's delicious temptation... For those of you who don't know Sonic is quite literally my gateway drug. I used to go by there and order 3-4 orders of jalapeno poppers..... not 3-4 jalapenos... 3 or 4 ORDERS of them. And a large Sonic Blast to wrap it up. It's no wonder I got to where I was.
Last night and the night before I went to dinner with the fam. Just a night out, but instead of ordering healthy, paleo friendly foods I gave in to temptation. Chips and Queso and even Brownie ala Mode.
Sigh. And the cravings begin.
Today was rough. I packed up my breakfast and lunch as normal, set to be planned out all day and around 11am the cravings began... Sonic M&M Blast calling my name. Just a short trip down the street, I could use the break. YOLO, right? I stuck to my guns, ate my lunch, then ate all my snacks and around 2pm was hungry... the craving never fully went away. Even after chewing on some mint gum, which is usually my go to for cravings.
Finally I decided I had enough... I popped open google and searched for the nearest park to my office. Got in my car in the MIDDLE of the day, in the middle of work to be done, and walked over to the park. Found the 1/2 mile nature trail and walked. Tuned out my phone, tuned out the noise. I walked.
I figure if my body is gonna be a douche, I'll exercise it into submission.
It was only a 5 minute walk and not anything to get my heart rate up. Or to write in the record books, but I needed it. I needed to walk to remind myself - this is DubyaWife. This is what I'm all about. It helped me to get centered. And weirdly... the craving went away.
When I got back into the car, I still had to face the fact that I was peckish and had the rest of the day with no snacks. So I hopped over to the local Wal-Mart, walked RIGHT by the candy aisles and went to the produce section. Grabbed pomegranate seeds, baby carrots, roasted almonds (no salt) and checked out.
I write this post from my desk at the end of the day to let you know that instead of feeling riddled with guilt and shame from my hiccups this week I feel abso-fucking-lutely proud of myself for what occurred this afternoon. Despite my many missteps this week, what just happened was powerful.
It took a balance of self-discipline - something that I believe needs to be balanced. Too much self-discipline and you feel stifled, fatigued, and beaten down by yourself and your rules. Too little and you end up feeling lost and guilt-ridden. But above all... it's remembering to love yourself no matter what. There aren't any mistakes people, just learning lessons.
Here's to a happy balance of self-discipline and self-love - all