Wednesday, April 2, 2014

I gained 30 lbs.


It's been a while since I've done a "Here's what's going on with DubyaWife..."  so here goes (as always there's headers and bullet points for the lazy readers. ;-)

Bye Bye ketogenic (ketosis) diet
At the end of 2013 I started on a ketogenic diet (putting my body in ketosis with very low carbohydrates, high healthy fats).  From Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 (roughly 90 days my carbs were around 15% each day and eating 1300kcal per day). I didn't exercise during this time because lack of carbs means low energy and that's exactly how I felt towards the end of January. Energy-less. Plus, this required so much planning, so much restriction, so much tracking. I didn't like who I was during this. I felt deprived. Like I was missing out. I was eating the same things. every. day. Plus the results in those 90 days? Nada. Zilch. I would teetter and totter in the 190s, occasionally seeing a 189 number, but nothing ever definite. And if I had one day of carbs (of course) I'd gain 2-3 lbs the next day. As far as this being a sustainable "lifestyle" for 9 months like I had planned?  No way. 

I started eating more. 
I wore my Heart Rate Monitor for 24 hours straight and found I burned 2300kcal. From Feb through Mar I ate over 2000kcal per day.  Now that I've had about 60 days of adjusting, I've lowered my calories ever so slightly to 1700 kcal.  And then when I exercise I'm eating the calories burned. My hope is that through the "reset" my body will adjust and instead of doing 1200kcal and two-a-days and straining my body, I want to find a healthy sustainable way. Something that I can do without feeling like I'm missing out on life. 

I'm still Paleo... most of the time. 
Beginning of 2013 I was pretty strict Paleo and then after doing the Whole30 I stayed on it.  I'd say now I'm much more of a Primal eater (paleo + dairy) and with that practice the 80%/20% rule.  80% of the time I'm paleo, the other 20% includes breads, sugars, etc.) I like where I'm at with that right now because I don't feel deprived and feel like I have flexibility when social functions or anything else pops up. I still cook at home most of the time and breakfast and lunch are very healthy, but with the occasional splurge.  Isn't that how it should be? 

I'm the heaviest I've been since 2010. 
Last year when I was trying to fight against the dreaded "plateau" I went to nutritionists, doctors, etc. for answers. And for the most part didn't get anywhere (in the long run). So under some advice from others I decided to CTFO (Chill the Fuck Out).  Beginning Feb (60 days ago), I reset my LoseIt app to maintenance and ate the calories. You would think this was great right?  Eating all that yummy food and calories?  You'd be wrong. My digestive tract in Feb was a horror... I constantly felt bloated and gassy. But by the end of Feb my digestive tract got used to the change. And then of course there was the gain. Almost immediately adding the calories put my body from starvation mode to storage mode. And the pounds added on. I feel "big" right now... and un-sexy. Despite the fact that I'm exercising... I feel the tighter clothes and the flab.  Some days are worse than others. I at least felt comfortable in the 190s. 

I missed running.
Part of the problem with Whole30 and the ketogenic diet was that I was so afraid of exercise, cause of the low energy. When 2014 rolled around I really wanted to get back into regular exercise, so starting Feb (when I started increasing my calories) I restarted C25K.  I did it two years ago, but I'll be honest that I really didn't commit to the intervals. This time I'm repeating weeks, pushing myself, and going slower on intervals so that I really can progress from week to week. I have to say, I love how I feel when I run regularly.  It makes me feel like an athlete. All runners go through cycles of love and hate, and I think I'm on the up swing now. I'm averaging about 2-3 runs per week. At 2 miles per run right now and 12:30ish pacing.

I signed up for races.
I'm a race addict. I love medals, I love the crowds and atmosphere.  And I love my running buddy (Cajun Tisha) who's up for anything. So I signed up for:  
  • Feb - Mardi Gras Mambo 10K (finished, but walked most of it)
  • March - Cosmic Run 5K (which was canceled and horribly handled, future blog post about that)
  • Virtual Race: Sherlock Run 22.1 miles (almost finished have about 3-4 miles left) 
  • April - The Color Run 5K
  • May - Superhero Dash 5K
  • June - Fitbloggin 5K or 10K haven't decided (depends where I am athletically in May) 
  • July - Dec - TBA
I'm testing out Insanity.
On my non-run days I like to do some type of cross-training.  And Dubya agreed to do Insanity with me. So we're trying it out. It's super tough, but we'll keeping going.

Weighing only on Fridays
The number is just a number for me. The scale really isn't something that I use to define me. It's a tracking tool. But daily weigh ins can tend to make me anxious and aren't helping my current "I feel like a big fat failure" attitude. So I'm weighing in on Fridays, in hopes that I'll see some long term progression. 

I'm focusing on visualizing my goals. 
When I lost 75 lbs, I had a clear goal.  DubyaBFF was getting married and I wanted to focus on looking good. I set small goals to reach and really got my mind right. I don't know how but I lost that frame of mind. They say for football players, Olympians, etc. they really work with athletes about visualizing your goal, seeing it in your mind, that it helps to see themselves doing it. So I'm focusing now on small and large goals. Things like: 
  • Being at 190s for Fitbloggin
  • When running visualizing the next corner, or next stop sign to keep me going and going. Or even visualizing a bird's eye view of how far I've gone and how far I need to go.  
  • Running 5Ks, faster pacing. 
  • Being able to do "regular" pushups. 
  • Visualizing myself weighing in at 190, 180, 170, etc. etc. 
  • Visualizing my 5 year blog-a-versary and trying to hit goal by then... or at least be close. 
  • Visualizing how I will look and feel at 155 goal. Thinner waist, arms, thighs (but of course I will never get rid of this badonkadonk ass). 
I'm fighting to lose weight, but if I don't that's cool too. 
The entire above statement sounds so contradictory. And that's cause weight loss can be contradictory at times. Less calories plus more calories burned doesn't always guarantee weight loss. I'm proof of that. I want to be driven, focused, and motivated to lose weight, but what I don't want is to feel like a failure, depressed, or worse like I'm missing out on life because of it. There's a balance. And I want to live in that balance. So I'm ending the day with saying to myself  "Was I healthy today?" and if I can truly say yes, then I succeeded. 

There ya have it guys and ghouls. You've been officially updated.  For those who really want to know how things are going, twitter, tumblr, facebook, instagram is where I'm constantly. So hit me up on there. 

Live. Your. Goal. 


4 comments:

  1. You are so brave and awesome to post this post. Every time I post that I have gained I get this terror that people are going to post nasty stuff in the comments or at least think it in their pointy little heads. You look gorgeous and I can't wait to see you in June.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jen! Can't wait to see you too!

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  2. I'm proud of you for looking at the food and switching things up to what works for you. That's awesome.

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