Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Ten Things That Need to Go Away in 2015

let the snark commence
  1. The following phrases: 
    • "I can't even." I literally. can't even anymore. 
    • Getting excited about something and posting: "This!" We can be more clever people. Come up with something better to show your excitement. "Huzzah!" "Right On!" Get creative.
    • Headlines that say blah blah blah "...and you won't believe what happened next!" or the like.
  2. Cords. Power cords, mouse cords, USB cords. A sea of gadgets and each one has it's own. damn. cord. According to Back to the Future 2 we're supposed to have hover boards by now... all I want to do is charge my fucking phone without a cord. I'm not asking a lot really.
  3. Discussions of Justin Bieber, Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, or any other plastic pop culture celebrity making a living being a complete d-bag and touted as a creative talent.
  4. Teenage dystopian movies/books. I'm done.
  5. The constant belittling and berating of the young generation because those young whippersnappers are always on their phones, so entitled, and the "worst generation."
    We've heard this before. You're getting older and jealous - let it go.
  6. On that note... dear god, anything Frozen related.
  7. Buzzfeed.
  8. Not googling it. Asking a question to someone on the internet while the internet is open and available for you to answer the damn question yourself. This is either the move of the self-entitled or the technology-impaired.
  9. TV/Movie FOMO (fear. of. missing. out.) I have 24 hours in each day. 6-7 of them are spent mini-comatose, 10 hours solving other people's problems, and the rest oscillates between social media, running in slow motion, and stuffing my pie hole. I know there's a plethora of great movies and TV out there and I make every attempt to binge-watch them when the mood and time allows, but can we please fucking quit with the "YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED BREAKING BAD!?!" My lack of watching does not indicate my disinterest. In fact usually it means that it's not on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or able to "obtained" by other completely legal means. Also, I'm a complete hypocrite on this one, I'll quit if you quit.
  10. And finally...

    The inequality and hatred against our own species.

    It baffles the mind to think that in the year 2015 where we have 3D TVs, contraptions that allow us to access a wealth of information at our fingertips, snuggies, and other amazing inventions - yet we still have not figured this out.

    There's still white privilege. There's still male privilege. Gays are still not equal.

    Bombings and killings are happening all over the world because of religious differences, hatred, and other stupid, stupid selfish reasons.

    This shit is sad. It's old. And it needs to go away.

    Our species is evolving. We're shedding the old myopic conventional traditional way of thinking for a more open-minded, cooperative mindset.

    Absolutism is a black or white thinking. But I'd much rather live in shades of grey.

    Quit categorizing. Quit stereotyping. Embrace the beautiful diversity in our world.

    It's easy to love those who are similar to me, it's harder to love those who hate me.

    Love isn't simple. Kindness can be hard. But anything worth having takes effort.

11. Oh... Black Eyed Peas. So early 2000s.

polite mic drop


  1. Can we add "single ply toilet paper" to the list? That stuff really chaps my hide. (Both literally and figuratively.)

    1. We can but then that makes it 12 and for sake of comedy i'd have to like round that to 15 and I'm lazy and don't feel like coming up with 3 more funny things... so you'll just have to moisturize.