Monday, June 20, 2016

How to Run For President (By Donald Trump)

1. Boast about yourself over and over again, cause people take you more seriously if you convince them that you're the best.

2. Don't bother using filters or politically correct language. It's time wasted on the losers of the world. Instead say whatever you want even if it's inflammatory, racist, or hateful.

3. Have a hot wife. If she's not hot anymore, divorce her, and get a newer hotter wife.

4. Tell everyone you have a great plan. Never talk in detail about that plan, but ensure everyone that the plan is the best.

5. Give all your enemies demeaning nicknames. Use them often. If they call you a nickname, threaten to sue.

6. Make strange, creepy sexual references to your hot daughter, and degrade overweight women. Actually, degrade all women.

7. Encourage throngs of people to punch anyone who criticizes or disagrees with you, including members of the press. Announce that you'll punch people in the face but never actually do it. 

8. Start a business venture. Advertise the shit out of it, then watch the company slowly fail, declare bankruptcy, and tell everyone how successful it was

9. Use your family wealth and power to avoid the military draft in the 1970s, then claim that your sexual exploits in the 1980s were your own personal Vietnam.

10. When you run for President, while everyone is convinced that you won't last, run away with the nomination. Then rely on good people to make stupid voting decisions, so you can hold a position of great power just to say you did

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